photo credit alpercukur

I saw a photo from the above photographer on pinterest. His work is beautiful but the Black and White stirs my soul. This is how this winter has felt to me. Gray and long. Even with no snow the days are just running together in the drudgery of the daily tasks. These months are the hardest for me. I love having my farm life and the animals that are included in that life. But the constant nag on my mind… enough water? enough heat? enough hay? It wears at me. And the days become longer still.

I am a slave to the clock from mid-November till just about now. Constantly watching as the minutes creep up to the hours before sun down. Bustling outside to be able to get chores finished before we lose the light. Change the water. Fresh food. Lock everyone up tight till morning light. Repeat day in and day out until finally the Solstice comes and at last you know the light will return bit by bit. Each day now becomes a little longer and the light lasts just a bit more.

Now the worry turns to temperatures. And in this strange year, I battle complacency. It has been warmer than normal. I guard against thinking tomorrow will be the same because it won’t and one day I’ll wake to bitter winds and frigid temperatures. I only hope we are fortunate this year and do not have to endure too many survival days…a day where the animals are all just trying to survive to the next day. We have baby lambs and goats coming this year which makes survival days even more daunting and sometimes heart-wrenching.

Winter is alternatively the season I love and the season I loathe. For the moment I am taking each day that dawns clear and moderate as a gift.