My camera has dead batteries again! But my cupboard looks very nice full of cherry pie filling! And my fruit crisp that I made with some of my “extra” cherries is already gone. Super Yum!

Anyway just a quick not to make note that I’m still here.

This week I’ve done lots of laundry.
Cleaned the kitchen a billion times - we’re doing an experiment if cleaning directly after a meal helps keep it “clean”. It does but it also takes a little more of my time.
Got my new computer half set up - wow have I forgotten what a huge pain in the ass it is to switch computers. Then again my dear, darling husband should be celebrating because that means I’ve had my last PC long enough to have forgotten what a PITA it is. Seven years people - seven years with the same pc. Granted its had some work done so its not really going away just being retired down a notch in our families computer hierarchy. Do you ever wonder if your old computer is just a little sad to be forgotten in that dusty corner of the basement? Weird - - no WALL-E.

Speaking of WALL-E I am looking at fast food drinking cups too - or rather when I get one I immediately flash to the scene in the movie about the “cupcake in a cup!”. Strange I know.

I like my new computer and I’m sure its only a short time before I get it all configured and most importantly all my settings transferred. You don’t even want to know how long and how many times I tried to login to my blog before I finally got the combination of user name and password right. *boo hoo* Does anyone else get overwhelmed with the number of passwords they have and how many are “need a special character” or “can’t have a special character” and what is up with those “you used that one six months ago please choose a new one!” GAH!!

Anyway that’s the short news from our end. More soon!

Christine tagged me for a bit of fun. On the Fourth note we spent the day in the garden, in the pool, in the sandbox, in the outdoors. Pretty much the whole day. Jr.’s sun freckles will be sprouted tomorrow and I think both boys have a little sun on the face - so tonight after they are sleeping I’ll sneak in and put on the aloe gel. (They can’t stand it when they are awake and both of them throw themselves onto the nearest pillow for a good healthy wipe! Guess how often that its MINE!)

Here’s a bit of fun for the Fourth!

Rules:

1) If you are tagged you must copy and paste my questions onto your blog, delete my answers, and answer as you would.

2) Tag some more people! You must notify your tagees by comment or message, and don’t forget to include these instructions.

1.How many brothers do you have? One and he’s plenty! (ha ha love you brother)

2.How many sisters do you have? Two - and neither a duplicate so there is plenty to love

3.Can you whistle? Yep! Though if I try to whistle loud in inevitably can only whistle very quiet??

4.Do you like “Silly Songs with Larry”? Yes I do! My favorite is Barbara Manatee.

5.How often do you wear black? Pretty regularly

6.Do you like to wear black? I think - though perhaps its I like to wear comfy clothes and those happen to be black!

7.How about pink/purple? Pink some - purple not so much.

8.What is your favorite veggie? Cucumber  - (Brussel Sprouts Christine??? Eww!!)

9.How often do you lose your hairbrush? Every single day. I kid you not - why do you think I really wear ponytails!

I’m not really sure who to tag so I’ll leave it open - Snap it up if you need a bit of fun for the day! Though I am curious how many others lose thier hairbrush as often as I do??

First I had a good time last night. We ran to see WALL-E at the Tuesday Bargain movie night at a local theater. The movie was what I’ve come to expect from Pixar but I can’t really say it better than Andrea did so pop on over there to read her review. WALL-E was spectacular is so many small ways. My favorite thing had to be Jr.’s “WALL-E” voice. It is almost spot on!

*****

Now a more serious note.

After the movie though was when I had a problem. And it is something I’ve noticed seems to be getting a little bigger and more frequent. My friends often poke me because I’m cautious and often have my kids walk away from things that may hurt them. Usually I can accept the jabs in jest but lately its been getting harder. It’s getting harder because I am seeming to have less control over my anxiety.

I say “we’ve had a long day” but that’s not an accurate description what I should be saying is that “I’ve been battling back the anxiety all day - making a conscious effort to turn off the “what if” pictures in my head - and I just can’t take one more round of that - so can you please just calm down before mommy completely falls off her rocker and the pictures going through my head overwhelm me to a point of non-function.”

It’s not very pretty is it. And to me it isn’t very funny. Most days I’m fine but I’ve noticed that a few days a month I’m really not that fine. The more I am bombarded on other levels  the easier it seems for my anxiety level to raise. It makes everything harder but especially battling back my normal (albiet strong but not insane) desire to keep the boys safe. On the bad days watching them at a playground is like nails on a chalkboard. Intellectually I know they will most likely be okay - but that doesn’t stop the continuing circle of “what if” pictures in my head or the other reactions I have that help me to recognize it is the anxiety talking. Most days are still just regular days and I’m working on figuring out what to do on the days that aren’t.

*****

I don’t want to end this post saying I’m a little nuts. So I’ll add a bit more on a different topic. A fantastic, wonderful topic. That I’ve wanted to share but I was waiting a few more days until I was certain that he was really, really there.

Jr. can read.

I don’t mean sound it out like “C A T cat” reading. I mean picking up a new book and reading with cadence, flow and confidence that he can do it. He still stops for words that he’s unfamiliar with like “through” and “ledge” but I am somewhat surprised at the number of words that he’s not stopping or pausing on like “pixie”. I don’t know why that one just surprised me. The other day we were reading books and he was reading to his brother while I found the requested book in the pile. In the middle of the chapter he stopped and said “I sure can read mom - cause I sure am getting to be 7!” I was tickled pink that he noticed his developed reading skill but very coolly said. “Yep you sure can read.” while inside I did the happy WAA HOOO dance!

Very timely! I out of photos for the day because my batteries in my camera died again. I’m probably going to have to break down and buy a new set of rechargeable batteries. Why? Because I misplaced my 2nd set or lost them??!!

So here goes Cooking Meme tagged by Christine

The rules:

1) Answer all the questions honestly.

2) Tag at least three people.

When was the most recent time you were burned?
If you mean an annoying “ouch” burn - popping popcorn just the other day. If you mean a real honest-to- goodness blister burn it was making a frosting a few months back that used a boiled sugar syrup. Now that hurt for days!

Can you cook?
I can! Cooking is a minor passion with baking being first. Though I’m what I consider a edible cook since almost everything I do cook is fairly basic and not experimental. (Except on experimental recipe night in which case it is also “backup meal in the fridge” night!)

If yes, name your specialties (three max.)
Buttered Chicken, ginger lentils and flatbread
Country Beans and Ham Stew with Cornbread
Chicken and Dumpling Stew

If yes, do you like to cook?
Yes! I take pleasure in the cooking itself! So not only do I enjoy the food I make, I enjoy the process itself. I am plagued with children who eat from three main groups: pasta, nuggets and crackers. Therefore when I cook it is for myself and my dear hubby.

If no, do you want to be able to cook?
See above.

What color is your kitchen?
Orange, Cream with walnut colored wood.

Do you bake?
Often!

If yes, specialties (max 3)
Oatmeal Cookies
Dorothy Bars
Carrot Muffins

If yes, do you like to bake?
Yes! Baking is where I experiment the most when in the kitchen. I’m often altering recipes with interesting results. Sometimes my alterations don’t work so well but when it does it’s fantastic!

If no, do you want to bake?
See above!

What color is your apron?
I have several but my favorite is black. A friends asked me once if I wear an apron all the time. My response was “If I want my clothes to stay clean I do!” My confession here is this is a necessity for me because I am a compulsive “jeans wiper” if I don’t have an apron or at a minimum a dishcloth my jeans will inevitably be utilized.

I tag (should they want to play) Evil Mommy, Not Jenny and Lynanne!

Birthday!

Today I turned…..well it doesn’t really matter what I turned now does it. Today ended up being one of those birthday days that you wish for each year. I had a positively lovely day that started with kisses and birthday wishes from Jr. & Lil’B. Then was filled with the love of a husband that knows my weaknesses for coffee and all things almond. My “men” gathered forces and brought me gifts of nail polish (yay!) and glitter glue (wee!). So I have new colors for my toes and sparkle for my notes! I had birthday wishes from my family here at home. I was surprised with wishes from several friends (hi surprising friends!) and several websites I frequent even took a split second to send me a birthday email (hi websites!). I had birthday snail mail made just for me (Sweet!!) A call from my May-Baby too niece (Hi Sweetie!).

And then to top off MY day and in honor of Mother’s Day I got flowers for my garden:

Columbine & Coral Bells

A flowering bush that I’ve forgotten the name of already!! But the big expensive pots sure were pretty. I opted for the smaller, not yet blooming version because I’m patient and can wait a few days for blooms.

And I finally got to make my birthday cake that I’d been plotting for a few weeks now! Mr. Numbers was feeling a bit low because I made my own cake but I think after he reads this he’ll feel better. You see making my own cake isn’t something I don’t enjoy. In fact it is something I actively plan. It is one of the few times a year that I will make something fully for myself without regard to anyone else’s tastes or preferences. And this year I found my cake at Peabody’s or more precisely Culinary Concoctions by Peabody. I stumbled upon this food blog and have been hooked since. I love the photos! I love that the recipes usually seem doable (ingredients can be found in Iowa, directions are something normal people can do and so forth). And when the post for the carrot cake came up in my reader I was in heaven. Now up top is my very own version of Peabody’s carrot cake. My photo isn’t as pretty but my cake was fabulous!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Day three we thrifted. The end.

We had a nice gentle day of going and going and going. We hit our (the boys and I) usual haunts and a few extras. In search of jeans and a desk.

We even managed a quick trip to the Historical Museum though we didn’t end up ever finding our friends. Bumped into someone else we knew who was there with her child’s school group. The museum was a nice break from searching through the stacks of jeans at the local thrifts. And I finally found some Iowa postcards to send out.

We never did find a desk that we liked but we did come home with a few jeans and a couple of books.

Day 4 we rested.

Today we spent hanging out at home. We moved somethings around in our office area - which according to my dear hubby is my favorite past time. The boys played Star Wars while I hung out clothes. Mr. Numbers wandered around and did odd jobs that are always waiting to be done. We were inside and outside and inside and outside. I spent the evening watching a movie with my boys while Mr. Numbers mowed. Pretty boring stuff huh?

Well on the parenting front we’re running into an interesting phase. Lil’B wants to play with the “big boys” but gets distraught when he’s hurt doing so. And he gets quite mad at his brother when it happens to - saying that it (the fall, the hit, the bump, bonk etc) are his brother’s fault. It is driving me nuts. I’ve tried  (and will continue) explaining to Lil’B that if he’s going to play foam sword fight, star wars, pirate….whatever that he has to deal with the somewhat inevitable swats that don’t land right. But still he ends up screaming and tears running with the blame game coming on. Jr. is getting particularly frustrated because not only is Lil’B trying outdoors - he’s trying indoors with a lot….A LOT of that’s mine! It has to be THIS WAY not THAT WAY. I need ALL the toys for this thing and I can’t share!

And I know a lot of this is age related. But knowing that isn’t making my ears feel any better. I am so tired of them yelling at each other. I am tired of finding myself yelling. I abhor that in myself and I am constantly trying to turn away from yelling.

Of course this week is doubly worse because we have Daddy home which always seems to make things better and worse at the same time. Tonight Jr. even pulled out the big “I hate you” to his brother. I was glad to hear him say after a bit that it wasn’t that he hates his brother he just doesn’t like the way he is reacting. Hate is a powerful word and not one that I want my children to use lightly. So the silver lining is that I in a rare moment had the luck of walking in quietly at just that right moment.  And take that opportunity to talk to Jr. about my feelings about saying we “hate” people and things.

Correspondence. It used to mean that one would sit down and write out the weekly news then post it off to a friend or family member. People used to write beautiful letters about the daily goings on of their lives. The internet and instant gratification didn’t exist. Scatter-shot type missives did come but via the telegram. I recently was pondering my own lack of writing letters, notes and postcards. Then I came across a beautiful school book written by a 5th grader in the late 1800’s. Her handwriting put mine to shame.

So I’ve issued a personal challenge to myself of one letter, postcard, or note to someone for 30 days. And I’m getting Jr. (and probably Lil’B) in on it too though at a much smaller level. We’ll shoot for five letters from Jr. along with “notes” from Lil’B to various family members.

Thinking of writing to several people I’ve not in a long time has actually been exciting. I think what has been most interesting is after issuing myself this challenge I’ve been much more aware of the thoughts of others floating through my head. I’m working on finding a way to make the daily living seem interesting. Not that what we do isn’t interesting but more that my writing lacks the descriptive nature necessary to make it feel interesting when written down.

And finally anyone reading is welcome to be added to my list of recipients. Just send me your address of choice to bmm1097ATgmailDOTcom and eventually in the month of May you’ll hear from me!