My Little Soapbox

Writing a letter to a friend across the pond.

Enjoying a butterfly friend visiting our science lab

Our lab wasn’t about butterflies (or rather moths as I think this one was) but we were delighted with the opportunity this little friend gave to us. As we were working on our lab questions from our outdoor lab Jr. felt something on his leg. When he looked down he saw this moth/butterfly. Who very graciously allowed us to hold him and watch as wings flexed, proboscis tasted and little tiny feet clung to fingers. Finally in a fit of natures wonder the little moth/butterfly came back and let us take some pictures!

ob·fus·cate /??bf??ske?t, ?b?f?ske?t/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ob-fuh-skeyt, ob-fuhs-keyt] –verb (used with object), -cat·ed, -cat·ing.

Nothing tickles me more when reading through my emails than finding new word. I’m going to try very hard to work it into a sentence today - for no other reason than to have a chance to say it. Where did I find this one? In an email about email cloaking on websites.

Words have been having an interesting place in the mind of my dear Jr. lately too. Specifically he’s been asking me about why things are called such or where did they decide that a “A” made an “ay” sound. Which has been fun for me because although I don’t know the answers off the top of my head. I do know enough bits an pieces about where words come from to entice him along while we find the answer.

Which brings me to my next thought:Latin. I’ve been seriously toying with the idea of introducing the boys to latin. I know many will say it is a “dead” language but my mother’s four years of latin was wondrous help in her Nursing studies. And I’m not necessarily wanting fluency - just exposure. Well actually I’m completely hoping that they will have an ear for language similar to their uncle. That they too will be hardwired to pick up languages with interest and ease. I like words and find languages beautiful to listen to but I do not soak them up like the sponge my brother can be with language.

Surely some of that genetic “spongeness” is in me too right?!

First I had a good time last night. We ran to see WALL-E at the Tuesday Bargain movie night at a local theater. The movie was what I’ve come to expect from Pixar but I can’t really say it better than Andrea did so pop on over there to read her review. WALL-E was spectacular is so many small ways. My favorite thing had to be Jr.’s “WALL-E” voice. It is almost spot on!

*****

Now a more serious note.

After the movie though was when I had a problem. And it is something I’ve noticed seems to be getting a little bigger and more frequent. My friends often poke me because I’m cautious and often have my kids walk away from things that may hurt them. Usually I can accept the jabs in jest but lately its been getting harder. It’s getting harder because I am seeming to have less control over my anxiety.

I say “we’ve had a long day” but that’s not an accurate description what I should be saying is that “I’ve been battling back the anxiety all day - making a conscious effort to turn off the “what if” pictures in my head - and I just can’t take one more round of that - so can you please just calm down before mommy completely falls off her rocker and the pictures going through my head overwhelm me to a point of non-function.”

It’s not very pretty is it. And to me it isn’t very funny. Most days I’m fine but I’ve noticed that a few days a month I’m really not that fine. The more I am bombarded on other levels  the easier it seems for my anxiety level to raise. It makes everything harder but especially battling back my normal (albiet strong but not insane) desire to keep the boys safe. On the bad days watching them at a playground is like nails on a chalkboard. Intellectually I know they will most likely be okay - but that doesn’t stop the continuing circle of “what if” pictures in my head or the other reactions I have that help me to recognize it is the anxiety talking. Most days are still just regular days and I’m working on figuring out what to do on the days that aren’t.

*****

I don’t want to end this post saying I’m a little nuts. So I’ll add a bit more on a different topic. A fantastic, wonderful topic. That I’ve wanted to share but I was waiting a few more days until I was certain that he was really, really there.

Jr. can read.

I don’t mean sound it out like “C A T cat” reading. I mean picking up a new book and reading with cadence, flow and confidence that he can do it. He still stops for words that he’s unfamiliar with like “through” and “ledge” but I am somewhat surprised at the number of words that he’s not stopping or pausing on like “pixie”. I don’t know why that one just surprised me. The other day we were reading books and he was reading to his brother while I found the requested book in the pile. In the middle of the chapter he stopped and said “I sure can read mom - cause I sure am getting to be 7!” I was tickled pink that he noticed his developed reading skill but very coolly said. “Yep you sure can read.” while inside I did the happy WAA HOOO dance!

Today Jr. lost his first front tooth.

While eating lunch his story goes: “I did that thing that made my two teeth hurt. That thing I did the other day. And my tooth fell out!!” For the record it was very, very loose and I expected that it would go any day now. He was thrilled. So we photographed his new gap. This one was my personal favorite of the bunch. He’s there in the moment remembering and telling his story of how his tooth fell out.

Jr’s six year photo just a little late. We didn’t have professional photos done this year so I’ve attempted a few times to take a nice portrait for our wall. I think this one looks pretty good given that Jr. currently has a penchant for making his “cheesy face” all the time when being photographed!

Day three we thrifted. The end.

We had a nice gentle day of going and going and going. We hit our (the boys and I) usual haunts and a few extras. In search of jeans and a desk.

We even managed a quick trip to the Historical Museum though we didn’t end up ever finding our friends. Bumped into someone else we knew who was there with her child’s school group. The museum was a nice break from searching through the stacks of jeans at the local thrifts. And I finally found some Iowa postcards to send out.

We never did find a desk that we liked but we did come home with a few jeans and a couple of books.

Day 4 we rested.

Today we spent hanging out at home. We moved somethings around in our office area - which according to my dear hubby is my favorite past time. The boys played Star Wars while I hung out clothes. Mr. Numbers wandered around and did odd jobs that are always waiting to be done. We were inside and outside and inside and outside. I spent the evening watching a movie with my boys while Mr. Numbers mowed. Pretty boring stuff huh?

Well on the parenting front we’re running into an interesting phase. Lil’B wants to play with the “big boys” but gets distraught when he’s hurt doing so. And he gets quite mad at his brother when it happens to - saying that it (the fall, the hit, the bump, bonk etc) are his brother’s fault. It is driving me nuts. I’ve tried  (and will continue) explaining to Lil’B that if he’s going to play foam sword fight, star wars, pirate….whatever that he has to deal with the somewhat inevitable swats that don’t land right. But still he ends up screaming and tears running with the blame game coming on. Jr. is getting particularly frustrated because not only is Lil’B trying outdoors - he’s trying indoors with a lot….A LOT of that’s mine! It has to be THIS WAY not THAT WAY. I need ALL the toys for this thing and I can’t share!

And I know a lot of this is age related. But knowing that isn’t making my ears feel any better. I am so tired of them yelling at each other. I am tired of finding myself yelling. I abhor that in myself and I am constantly trying to turn away from yelling.

Of course this week is doubly worse because we have Daddy home which always seems to make things better and worse at the same time. Tonight Jr. even pulled out the big “I hate you” to his brother. I was glad to hear him say after a bit that it wasn’t that he hates his brother he just doesn’t like the way he is reacting. Hate is a powerful word and not one that I want my children to use lightly. So the silver lining is that I in a rare moment had the luck of walking in quietly at just that right moment.  And take that opportunity to talk to Jr. about my feelings about saying we “hate” people and things.

Once again we were in the garden. In fact I expect that we will be in the garden most chances that we get for the next few months. We have much to plant and cultivate. Dratted rain hasn’t been cooperating much either. Today we hammered together some raised beds to house our lettuces (a bunny favorite) and my pet project of carrots. I’ve never gotten carrots to work but I’m not giving up yet!

The boys helped me plant another row of strawberries and I think we’ll call our new patch done. So long as the old patch isn’t tilled under we’ll keep moving plants to fill in for those that don’t make the transplant. And then the helped mulch around each plant and water the newest arrivals. Which of course translates to I gave my kids water, dirt and dried grass. Muddy little messes they were by the time they were done. In fact it was practically a whole day outside and we were once again sun-kissed on our cheeks by the time we headed inside. And it was a very dirty end to our week which made it all the better from the boys’ perspective!

All in all I’m pretty pleased with our earthy week. We didn’t really have a chance to talk about Earth Day itself but I plan to do that a bit more when we transplant our oak trees. But I’m certain that they were connected to the earth this week and that’s what was important to me.